Does the name of today end in a “y”? Why, yes. Then it must be time for another iPhone 5 rumor. This is worth passing on simply because of the crazy levels of paranoia contained within.

According to Charles Arthur of The Guardian, the iPhone-5 units already installed in the carrier's facilities and is currently being tested. Of course, an Apple product, it must remain secret at all costs, and you can be sure that cell phones are not thrown into a Jiffy bag and sent over AT & T and Verizon. The non-5s iPhone are enclosed in specially designed boxes that pirate treasure:

[M]y understanding is that barely anyone inside the carriers gets to open those boxes, and even when they do the hardware is encased in a dummy body which means there’s no clue to what the actual phone will do. 

Arthur speculate how Apple can immediately identify leaks, and also states that the disorder could have been avoided Antennagate if Apple had simply allow more people to test the handset in the wild before release.

I love this story, and I imagine the high-level employees must submit to a search for Indiana Jones-style Telco whenever they need access to iPhone 5. Liver spots, address besuited a minimum of confidentiality if aluminum construction AT & T is carrying emaciated handcuffed to his wrist. In each of several progressively heavier doors, its watery and scan your retina uses fingerprints to access.

Finally, in the test room, it locks the case. He whistles as the air pressure equalizer, and it takes a little bag light gray microfiber, printed with the Apple logo in darker gray. Inside the bag is a light weight polished, perfectly spherical, but for a small flat circle about the size of a dime. The performer places it on an empty pedestal next to the safety monocoque aluminum box of the iPhone. He waits. His breathing stops. The ball is sinking a millimeter and a click in the box. The lid is lifted. The breath of direction, and the giant ball of stone is secure in its niche in the wall, ready to chase an unauthorized invader at a later date.